X-Ray Evidence Of The Crucifixion
A longstanding religious debate came to an end this Monday when ancient Roman X-Ray files were unearthed south of Jerusalem. Labeled for the patient “Iyesu Hanotrzri” (A variant of the the Hebrew name of Jesus Christ) the X-Rays reveal that the savior was crucified with nails through his palms, and not through the wrists as some modern scholars have suggested.
According to biblical scholar Bill Ickle-Sollar, “Until now there was no hard evidence of the crucifixion at all, no Roman documents from the time recorded the life of Christ, but now we know not only that he was crucified in 33 A.D.* but the nails went through his palms.” Numerous modern doctors and crucifying executioners have stated that the palm cannot support the weight of the body and Jesus must have been crucified through his wrists, but there is now solid evidence to the contrary. Said opposition doctor Al Pazittenskaller, “Needless to say, we were wrong. I suppose we should have put more stock in the Holy Bible.”
*The date recorded on the documents is April 7th, 33AD- 3 Days after the estimated date of crucifixion, suggesting these are in fact X-Rays of the resurrected Christ and not Jesus immediately upon his death. The use of “AD” suggests the Roman doctors who took the X-Rays were aware of the divinity of Jesus, and may represent the first direct converts of the risen messiah. Their names are recorded as Dr. Chaim Zuckerman and Petronius Greenberg, both names were common to Jews of the 1st century in the region.
